Use Rational Thought to Deal with Stress

The practice of rational thought allows you to separate the positive thought from the negative.  Study each of the negative thoughts that you have identified using the Thought Awareness. Look at each thought and ask yourself if this thought is, in fact, reasonable. Many people find this step very difficult, because you must be somewhat objective to get it right.  You must separate the emotion from the rational.

Let’s take a look now at your Stress Diary.  We will identify where you have had frequent negative thoughts:


I feel inadequate (written 5 times in 6 days)
I feel taken advantage of (written 3 times in 5 days)
I feel I am not appreciated by my kids (written 6 times in 6 days)


Are the above comments only thoughts and feelings on your part or can you back your feelings up with actions?

For Example:  I feel inadequate because when I was asked to bake for the bake sale, I felt poorly that day and remained in bed, unable to bake.

Ask yourself if this is an occurrence that is frequent (your staying in bed and not baking) or if this was a one time thing. 
If the answer is that you do, in fact, stay in bed a good deal rather than participate in some school function, you might want to look further into avoidance issues. 

On the other hand, if this was just a one time thing for you, you could easily tell yourself that your feelings are unwarranted and your kids would understand that you wanted to bake but simply could not at that time.  There will be plenty of other school functions that you will be able to help out with.

The key to rational thought is to clarify and identify truth and underlying thoughts and feelings.  When you can do this, you are better able to deal with any stress that results.

Left with the actual negative feelings and thoughts, you are now warned to take appropriate, and if need be, immediate action to ward off any subsequent stress.

Lastly, positively affirm those thoughts and feelings that turned out to be less than negative.

For example:
I felt inadequate, however, I no longer do.  I now realize that I do participate when called upon by my kid’s school to contribute, unless I am unable to help at that time.  I will continue to help out to the best of my ability and where time permits.

So long as you mean what you write (and say it out verbally) you will feel the stress leave your body and mind as you state the positive and negate the negative.

Go through your entire Stress Diary in this way and you will feel much more relaxed and be less apt to make similar entries into your Stress Diary next time around.
BUST YOUR STRESS AWAY!
Sometimes it is just the little things that make a big difference.  Own just five Stress Busters each day and practice them, and you will feel the tension leave!
 
Lie in bed and just listen to the rain.
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Dry off with towels warmed in the dryer.
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Hold hands when walking with your loved one.
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Make a surprise call to an old friend.
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Engage in purposeful, stimulating conversation.
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Spend the day at the beach -- any time.
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Make good on your promised favor.
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Tell the new guy your *Inside* jokes.
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Kiss and make up.
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Plant that first kiss. (Any kiss.)
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Spend time with puppies, babies, and kittens.
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Give up your parking space for today.
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Sip on a Turtles hot chocolate.
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Take that surprise road trip.
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Swing on a swing.
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Fall in love all over again.
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Go to a really good concert.
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Bake homemade cookies for the entire office.
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Treat yourself to a free day.
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Pay a compliment.
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Learn something new and exciting.
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Get lost in a great book.
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Treat family to a really great movie.
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Reply to your emails same day.
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Do something/anything one time only.
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Accept yourself just as you are.
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Buy a present -- just because.
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Give the first crocus of spring.
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First day of fresh snow, go skiing.
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Do that promised home improvement.
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Have yourself a really good cry.
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Next time say, “No charge.”
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Do the work you love.
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Finish that important project.
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Wear only comfortable shoes.
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Buy that sweater you really want.
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Enjoy a brand new day; a fresh start.
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LAUGH YOUR STRESS AWAY
Humor is a terrific stress-reducer and antidote to all manner of upsets. It has been clinically proven to be effective in combating the worst of stress.

Experts know that a good laugh relaxes tense muscles, sends more oxygen into your system, quicker and lowers your blood pressure.

So next time you feel yourself start to tense up, tune into your favorite comedy on television. Read a funny book. Call up a good friend and laugh heartily for a few good minutes. It doesn’t even hurt to just force a good laugh now and then. You'll find your stress melting away with each breath!

Americans were attracted to humor while reading the stories of Norman Cousins.  This man successfully overcame cancer by watching his favorite comedy shows on television.

These days, you can attend an organized humor meeting and even in places such as India where laughing in a public place is frowned upon.

Dr. Lee Berk, along with fellow researcher Dr. Stanley Tan at Loma Linda University School of Medicine, has taken up carefully controlled studies that show the experience of laughter lowers serum cortisol levels, increases the amount of activated T lymphocytes, increases the number and activity of natural killer cells, and increases the number of T cells that have helper/ suppresser receptors.

This is powerful evidence that laughter stimulates the immune system and this off-sets the immunosuppressive effects of stress. Laughter is powerful medicine!
 
Research has proven that laughter can lower cortisol levels and thereby protects our immune system.

The emotions and moods that we are all subject to directly effects our immune system. It makes perfect sense, then, that when we cultivate a mood of humor this allows us to perceive and appreciate the everyday nuances of life through experiences of joy and delight.

Such positive states of mood and emotion creates neurochemical changes that act to buffer the immunosuppressive effects of stress.

Stress research pioneer, Selye, noted that a person's interpretation of stress is not dependent only on an external event; it also depends on the perception of the event and the meaning given to it.

This points to the fact that we can learn to control our reaction to stress.  How we look at a situation, then, determines if we will respond to it as a threat or as a challenge.

Humor gives us an entirely different perspective on our problems. If we can perceive it in a lighter bent it is no longer a threat to us. We have already discounted its effect by lightening it. With such an attitude we serve to self-protect and so control our environment.

**Bill Cosby coined an important phrase when he said, "If you can laugh at it, you can survive it."


It's certainly very difficult to force a laugh while in a stressful situation. However, that's precisely the time when you need to laugh the most. Remember, the trick is to take control over your environment or situation. That way you are more apt to feel challenged and less threatened.

Any way you can slice it – lighten up and feel less stress.  Calm over chaos is the phrase of the day. Begin by trying to find humor in the worst of situations.  If you must, blow the situation way out of proportion, just to make yourself laugh.  Make the serious look ridiculous.  When you reach the point of absurdity, you can then begin to melt and calm. Practice makes perfect!



SELF THERAPY FOR NAGGING DAILY STRESS
It is all well and good when you can get away to a wonderful Spa or Retreat.  There are many good ones located throughout the world.  You can even find a great day Spa locally.  These are a great remedy for everyday stress.

Another great remedy and a more practical one for everyday stress is to practice self-therapy.

Here are a few great suggestions that you can start with right away:

Great for your aching back and muscle tension
Begin by massaging some soothing essential oil or peppermint lotion into your feet.  Work those thumbs slowly as you move up the arch. In terms of Reflexology, this area on your feet will correspond with the lumbar, thoracic and cervical spine area, respectively.

FYI: The tips of your cute toes correspond with your sinus region.
Treat yourself to wide, sweeping movements, working your way up and down your entire foot area.  As you land on your toe area, spend some time kneading and massaging with purposeful motions. 

TIP: Apply good amounts of pressure for best results. 

Cover each and every tiny spot on your feet and toes until your whole body responds with a tingling sensation.  Now switch with your buddy and work your way to your back!

Great soothing workout for your mid-section
Wearing loose, baggy clothing, retreat to a quite place and then softly close your eyes. Exhale any of the old, stale air from your lungs and then place your hand below your navel and rest.

Take in deep breaths, slowly, through your nose and feel as your belly begins to expand. As you breathe out, imagine that you are exhaling through your ribcage all the way around. Now repeat this in the same way as you imagine inhaling and exhaling through the kidneys or your mid-lower back.

FYI: When you breathe deeply and purposefully, this is called "belly-breathing."  This oxygenates your tired blood and helps you to focus better. 

You experience a "calm" signal inside and this diminishes all stress so that you can breathe easier.

For the Multi-Tasker in all of us
You can only be so efficient in your lifetime when your little, inner child starts to call you out to play.  Just how serious can life be, after all?

Make a point to get down on all fours and play with your kids today!  Grab the silly putty and make some cute little critters.  Get the slinky out and remember what awe you felt when you first saw that sucker jiggle its way down your stairs!

Make today the first day for your new outlook.  Give yourself permission to feel a new sense of adventure.  Get those travel mags out and decide with hubby where you will go next and then start planning and saving!

Do something daring and especially do something that will make you want to just laugh your fool head off!

Do this and you will instantly release tension.  Remember that all of this positive play will boost endorphins and increase your "feel-good" factor.

FYI:  LOTS of creative play is what is needed to support optimal wellness of your body-mind and spirit.

A very effective 5 minute relaxation exercise for those on the go
It’s time to tense up!  Purposefully clench every muscle in your body, including your fists, abs, teeth, cheeks, shoulders, ears and even your toes!

Hold on to the tension for a full 10 seconds.

Slowly begin to release each muscle one at a time.

As you inhale think of joy, peace, love and friendship.

As you exhale think of those things that cause you stress, one at a time and just let them all go.

FYI: When you visualize the things that you love as well as what causes you stress and then associate that with relaxation breathing, you are cleansing your body of the negative and filling with the positive.

Looking for a good night’s sleep
If you toss and turn at night, unable to empty from your mind, the contents of a busy day, this is a great relaxation exercise for you!

    Bring a note book to your bedside.
    Turn on slow, soft mood music.
    Lie quietly and as thoughts come in to disturb your solace, write them all down.

When you are ready to fall asleep you will have “dumped” all of the noisy thoughts and clatter from your busy day that would serve to steal your sleep from you.  Writing it all out helps you to empty your mind of it.

Reread all of your notes making a mental note to release all your cares down a sea of care.  Envision each of your worries out on a raft about to hit the waterfall.  Watch as the raft is eaten up by the falls and so goes your worries.

Return to your peaceful sleep listening to your peaceful music.  You will fall asleep peacefully now.

Part 4